What actually happens in a MIAM
It is usually a one-to-one meeting of around 45 minutes to an hour, in person or by video. The mediator explains how mediation works, what the alternatives are, and what it would cost, then asks about your situation to judge whether mediation is appropriate and safe. You are not negotiating with your ex-partner in a MIAM.
At the end the mediator records whether mediation is suitable. If you go on to apply to court, that record is what the court form asks for.
When you don't need one
Exemptions exist, including evidenced domestic abuse, urgency where there is a risk of harm, cases involving social services and child protection, and bankruptcy. The exemption grounds are specific and you have to confirm which one applies on the court form.
You also do not need a MIAM simply to reach an agreement. The requirement attaches to applying to court, not to sorting things out between yourselves.
MIAM versus mediation itself
A MIAM is an assessment, not the mediation. Attending one does not commit you to mediating, and the other person attends separately. If both of you decide to go ahead, joint sessions follow; if not, the mediator signs the court form and you take the litigation route.
How this fits with online mediation
Online mediation is a way of working through the issues and producing a written agreement. It is not a MIAM and does not replace one: if you later need to apply to the family court, you will still need to attend a MIAM with an accredited family mediator or qualify for an exemption.
For the many couples who never go near a court application, that step never arises — they agree, get a consent order drafted, and that is the end of it. Our MIAM guide explains the detail.
Frequently asked questions
Does my ex-partner have to attend a MIAM too?
Only the person making the court application has to attend. The mediator will normally invite the other person, and mediation can only go ahead if they agree — but their refusal does not stop the applicant's MIAM requirement being met.
How much does a MIAM cost?
Accredited family mediators charge per person for a MIAM; it is one of the separately billed items in traditional mediation. If you qualify for legal aid for family mediation, it may be free — check with the mediator when you book.
How long is a MIAM valid for?
A MIAM certificate has a limited life for court purposes — check the current period with your mediator, as an out-of-date certificate means attending again before you can apply.
Can a MIAM be done online?
Yes, most accredited mediators offer MIAMs by video call, which is usually quicker to arrange than an in-person appointment.
This is general guidance on mediation in England and Wales, not legal advice. Court procedure, financial settlements and arrangements for children can turn on your own circumstances — take advice from a solicitor or an accredited family mediator before making a final decision.
Next step
Our MIAM guide explains when the meeting is required, which exemptions apply, and how online mediation fits alongside it if you are trying to agree without going to court.
Read the full MIAM guide